The Substitute Teacher

Image courtesy of
Shepherd Express

The following was forwarded to me this evening. It reads like something that came out of The Onion. I wish it had, but sadly, it's all too real. It's a letter that was sent home from a local elementary school, which I shall transcribe here, with some names redacted to protect the innocent:

Dear Parents of 4th Grade Students:

I am writing to inform you that Governor Scott Walker is coming to visit [name redacted] School on Thursday, September 13th and will speak with all of our 4th grade students! Governor Walker and a professional from the Wisconsin Historical Society are coming to [this school] to celebrate the anniversary of the signing of the Constitution. They will present a lesson to all of our 4th grade students from 9:15 am until approximately 10 am. Students will hear about the signing of the Constitution and be able to ask the Governor some questions they may have for him.

There is then a paragraph regarding the need to sign a permission slip because the media will be there and will be taking pictures that could end up on TV and/or the paper.

What? Did you expect Walker to do anything that wasn't a photo op and something he could use to further his political career, as short lived as that might be due to Walkergate?

The letter then goes on:

I also want to let you know that this activity is one that is not open to the public. Therefore, parents will not be allowed to attend. Please understand that the Governor is requesting time with your children rather than speaking to a large audience. In addition, the security that is necessary will require us to be strict about who is allowed on the school grounds that day. Please understand the need for that security.

It is an honor to have the Governor of the State of Wisconsin visit [our] school! The students are truly excited to have the opportunity to learn from him! If you have any questions or concerns regarding Governor Walker's visit, please fell free to contact me at your convenience.

Sincerely,

[Your friendly neighborhood principal]

I have since found out that Walker is supposed to be visiting a number of schools who are named after one of the founding fathers. I wonder if he has found an aide with more than the usual level of incompetency of the Walker administration to help with this. Left to his own devices, I could see Walker going to Custer High School or Lincoln Elementary.

As I mentioned above, this is obviously nothing but a photo op, using the children as political props.

It takes some serious brass balls for him to even show his face in a public school after all the damage he has done to the public education system. But then to act on the pretense that he is going to give a lesson about the Constitution?!

I mean, really?! This college flunky can't even spell, for crying out loud!

But if the irony hasn't reached toxicity levels yet, I have learned that Walker's people have already told the schools that the children are not going to be allowed to ask questions unless they are strictly related to the Constitution. This wipes out the question, "Why do you hate teachers?"

But it still leaves wide open the question: "Why do you continue to violate the First Amendment? Why do you hate Free Speech and the Right to Assemble?"

I know at least one parent who was going out tonight to buy their child a red t-shirt just for this occasion, to show support for the Chicago teachers. Wouldn't it be grand to see Walker surrounded by a sea of kids wearing CTA red? Of course, he'd be too self-centered and too dense to pick up on the meaning, even if they did do that.

Although, as I think about it, this stunt just might give the children a real lesson. They will get a first hand glimpse of the almost perfect, living example of what Walker's privatized education system will look like - an unqualified, uneducated person telling them what they should think instead of how to think. The only difference is that instead of being underpaid, Walker is being way overpaid for his job performance, and that's without the deck being stacked against him.