Eric Hovde: The Ultimate Carpetbagger

Pornstache Carpetbagger

Everyone knows that Eric Hovde, aka Pornstache Carpetbagger, is really a Californian banker.  He lives in Laguna Beach, California and was awarded Citizen of the Year in Orange County for three years running. 

But apparently, old Pornstache is such a carpetbagger that he might not even be from this country.  Take for example, via Heartland Signal, a few days ago when he tried to pretend to be a Wisconsinite by going to the Slinger Speedway.  After giving a short speech of monolistic jingoism - America is great. Yay. - he wanted to lead the crowd into a rousing rendition of the Pledge of Allegiance.  But as soon as he started, you could see his mind blank out and he started looking like a deer caught in the headlights.  And it only got worse from there.

He even got help and he still could get it right!

But wait! There's more! There's always more!

When his totally ineffective spokesperson, Ben Voelkel, tried to do damage control, all he could do was point and yell, "Squirrel!"

Hovde's campaign spokesman, Ben Voelkel, responded that President Joe Biden is also known to stumble over words and phrases, including while on the campaign trail in Wisconsin.

Voelkel added that the media should instead focus on other things: "Families are struggling to afford groceries, terrorists and hundreds of thousands of criminals pour into the country illegally, mortgage rates are almost 8 percent, and leftist anti-Semitic protests rage across college campuses."

I wonder, is Hovde a Russian name, perchance?  I don't know, but given the stilted way he tried to be All American Guy and not being able to recite the pledge even with help, I'm no longer sure Hovde is actually American.

Fitzwalkerstan: Open For Carpetbaggers

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel has an interesting article about some shenanigans going on up north in Marinette County.

Marinette County has only two circuit court judges, one of which is retiring.

Two people have applied for the seat, which has more than a year until the next election.

One of the people applying is Michael Perry, who was a former sheriffs deputy who ran against his boss, lost and then got fired.  He sued, won and used his award to go to law school.  Perry is a Marinette County resident.

The other applicant is James Morrison.  Morrison just moved to Wisconsin from Michigan, in an obvious move to get the seat.  He's been schmoozing it up with the local pols and judges.  Everyone seems to think that Morrison is a lock for the job.

The kicker is his "qualifications":

[Retiring Judge Tim] Duket also expected Morrison to get the nod because he's "the Republican, conservative, Fox News type" who has been active in GOP politics, working for Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice David Prosser in his election last year.

So what do you think Walker will do? Will he go with the Marinette native who's played by the books, or will he go with the crony of Justice David "Chokehold" Prosser, who he owes a favor to for rubber stamping Act 10 without even reading the law or the case?

Here's a hint: The precedent has been set.