Thursday, October 9, 2008

It's Still Good

Today would have been my mother's 65th birthday, if she had lived. But as my readers know, she passed away nine years ago.

As one can imagine, it was an emotional time. I was engaged to the most wonderful woman in the world, and we had scratched all of our original wedding plans and set up a date of October 9, 1999 to get married. We were hoping that it would give Mom something to keep fighting for. Unfortunately, the cancer was too fierce, and she died six weeks earlier.

We decided to keep the date the same. It would honor my mother, and my fiancee wanted me to have a good memory to take from that time.

Our wedding was done as inexpensively as we could, and was rather informal. The only one that was dressed traditionally was my bride, who was wearing a borrowed dress. Her bridesmaids wore dresses that were functional, and something that they could and would where after the wedding. The groomsmen and I all just wore our suits.

My bride, being the indulgent one, allowed us to have a Green Bay Packer theme to the wedding. The streamers that we hung were green and gold. The women in the bridal party wore green dresses and all carried a white, a yellow and a red rose. All the men wore Packer ties and pins.

I was on an emotional roller coaster that day. In the morning, I went with my father and grandfather to the cemetery to put flowers on my mom's and grandmother's graves. I was nervous at the thought of being married, wondering if we would make it, or like too many other couples, would are marriage end in divorce.

All that faded when the music started and I saw my wife walking down the aisle. I knew then it was right. We went through the ceremony with the usual minor glitches, but nothing too severe. I remember seeing my dad cry for the third time in my life, and I remember being puzzled. I remember friends taking out their own cameras and taking pictures, since we didn't have the time or money to hire a professional photographer. I remember one of our neighbors using a video camera.

But all of those memories are just fragmented details. The overwhelming memory was just how beautiful my wife looked. I also remembered the look in her eyes as she said I do. I remember how humble I felt to realize that such a wonderful person could have such strong feelings of unconditional love for me, and how I hoped like hell I was worth it.

As the Justice of the Peace told me to kiss her for the first time as my wife, and proudly announced us married, one of our friends came running up the aisle, dressed like a football referee. When he reached the front of the room, he blew his whistle and loudly proclaimed, "It's good!"

The rest of the day is just a blur of memories mashed together.

Over the next nine years, we've had our ups and our downs. We've had more than our fair share of arguments, and much more than our share of griefs. But when the times got the hardest, whether it was money issues at the beginning, or the death of friends and family members, or just the regular crappy things that happen to all of us, whenever those things happened, we grew closer. Our love grew stronger.

I've made more than my fair share of blunders and screw ups over the past nine years, but each time, she smiled and she forgave me. It is only a wonder why the Pope hasn't waived the rules and made her a saint yet.

After nine short years, all I can say is, "It's still good."

Now, my friends, you will please excuse me, but there are some things that are more important than who will be the next President, more important than the county budget, and much, much more important than who said what about whom.

I will be taking the weekend to remember and enjoy those things, and the person who made them possible for me.

It's still good.


  1. Wow, Capper. I always wondered how your wife puts up with you. I guess you are a nice guy afterall. Seriously, nine years...I'm going on 35. I hope you always feel the same as you do now when you reach let's say, 25. Congrats!

  2. Oh, how did that happen! That was me! - not Anonymous.

  3. Congrats, Boss.

    My advice is to remember how you looked into her eyes at the ceremony and then take time to do that once each day.

    Remember the reasons you came to each other and build on them.

  4. why the Pope hasn't waived the rules and made her a saint yet.

    I'll send him a note to see what we can do about that.

    Seeing as she's married to YOU, it should be a snap-doodle decision.

  5. Man, I am not only jealous, but exceedingly happy for you. I also echo Dad's sentiments. If she married you, it ought to be a shoe in! LOL

  6. I'm sorry to hear about your mother's passing. I have a very similar story: married Nov. 1, 1999, and my very sick mother died two weeks later. And the bride in question is now my ex-wife... but it's not as bad as that sounds, really! ;-> Not such as relates to this story, anyway.

  7. Thank you everyone for your kind words. I'll pass your condolences on to my lovely wife.

  8. These were very touching sentiments especially the looking in the eye part.