The Scott Walker Degree

BY Jeff Simpson 

Scott Walker, who likes to campaign Al Dente, has changed his line about not having a college degree once again.   

What about not having a college degree?"I say I’m like the majority of people in America. I’m someone who went to college, had the opportunity in my senior year to go and take a job full-time, which was not the only reason I went to college, but one of the biggest reasons was to get a job. And the American Red Cross offered me a job my senior year, and I took it, thinking someday, maybe, I’d go back. But a few years later, I met my wonderful wife, Tonette, a year after that, we had Matthew, the year after that, we had Alex. And now like a lot of folks in America, you know, your family and your job take the time away from you from finishing it up. But I don’t think anybody -- and I’ve got a master’s degree in taking on the big-government special interests, and I think that is worth more than anything else that anybody can point to."

Once you get past the fact that he changes his life story more than Robert Van Winkle ever did, one interesting line stands out.  

and I’ve got a master’s degree in taking on the big-government special interests - Scott Walker

Well we at CogDis did some digging and we found a partial course listing of classes that Mr. Walker Had to take to earn his imaginary Master's degree.  

 How to please your boss, yet look independent 202:  This course we will teach you how to say one thing to the general public while spilling your true strategy to people who pay for that privilege. By the end of this class, you will learn how to soak millions out of rich widows.  

Kiss the right rings(there is lots of money in Las Vegas) 300:  This course will show you, how to fund raise nationally while traveling secretly.  The more advanced learners in this class, will learn how you can phone reporters in your home state, while traveling, to complain about "out of state special interests".



You have access to unlimited money, use it 220:   This class will show you how to do whatever you want in office because you have unlimited access to taxpayer money to hire lawyers.  If time allows, the student will also learn how to hire consultants to keep from having to make a decision on your own.



Meet the right people - 100:  This is a refresher course to help the student understand that the person you are nice to today, could grow up to become a Supreme Court Justice, who will not only suspend ethics rules to do your bidding but be willing to choke anyone who gets in the way!



You are always, always, always on - no one is bigger than your ambition 400 :  This is an upper level graduate course for those who are willing to do anything to become President of the United States.   This course will teach you to hire felons, snakes, and loons.  You will also learn the importance of hiring your donors to major positions within the Government and the equal importance of throwing them to the wolves the second you need a scapegoat.  Students will also learn that the more taxpayer money you can give to your friends, the more money they will give you.  



You can see with five classes last semester, Mr. Walker had a full course load but it allowed him to attain his imaginary masters degree.

Congrats to you Scott Walker,

Let's hope the walk you take to get this degree involves handcuffs and disgrace!