Friday, July 24, 2015

Know The Difference - The Milwaukee Lion

By now, the gentle reader has heard about the Milwaukee Lion, based on reports that an African Lion was seen on the north side of Milwaukee.  People have been having a lot of fun with the story.  But with the amusement, there is also some bemusement.  I hope to make things clear for the gentle reader with some simple facts.

The Milwaukee Lion:

  • The lion is called the King of Beasts or the King of the Jungle
  • The Milwaukee Lion has so far mostly eluded people leaving no trace of its presence
  • The lion preys upon weak, frail, sick and elderly animals
  • The lion uses its natural coloring to hide in the tall grass

This animal has often been confused with another urban animal, the Milwaukee Lyin' (aka Chris Abele):

The Milwaukee Lyin':

  • The Milwaukee Lyin' considers himself to be the King of Milwaukee or the King of the Concrete Jungle (and he keeps adding more concrete)
  • The Milwaukee Lyin' avoids people because he doesn't think he needs to be accountable to anyone but his rich friends.
  • The Milwaukee Lyin' preys upon the weak, frail, sick and elderly people of Milwaukee County
  • The Milwaukee Lyin' uses his vast wealth to hide from the truth
So when traveling in Milwaukee, please use caution. Both of these beasts are very dangerous.  On the bright side, the Milwaukee Lyin' can be easily scared off by the truth and by solidarity.

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