Thursday, January 27, 2011

Most Laws Exist For A Reason

This is rather disturbing on a number of levels:
At some point in their journey, the two got hold of a booklet listing the weirdest US laws. Since they were in Florida, their attention was drawn to a Florida law prohibiting sex with porcupines.
After a good deal of whiskey, the Russians felt curious about what might have prompted the law, and went in search of the animal.
Within one hour, a porcupine was found, and Anton and Yevgeny were drunk and brave enough to take off their pants and approach it.
The next morning, both were standing at the Cedars Sinai clinic in Los Angeles, where amazed doctors plucked porcupine needles from their penises.
This raises a number of questions, none of which I'm sure I want to know the answer to:

  • Just how drunk do you have to be to think having sex with a porcupine is a good idea?
  • How prevalent a problem is man-on-porcupine sex that they had to pass a law to ban it?
  • How the heck was this story not based in Wisconsin (specifically Sheboygan)?


  1. Could it be that either a) Wisconsinites (and Sheboyganites in particular) hold their booze better than the Russians or b) even drunk, we have more sense than the Russians?

  2. Thanks, Chris. You just ruined my vacation to Miami.

  3. You might think this is unusual and to tell you the truth I would have thought the same just two days ago...but, I was watching a show called Wild West (I think that was the name) two days ago...and the game wardens were looking for poachers..etc. They confronted a man who is a known poacher...he was on probation and he was telling the wardens about his friends who have sex with pigs. I couldn't believe my ears. He also said they raise baby pigs and then chase them with swords and decapitate them like ninjas. I cannot understand how men can be so depraved.

  4. Here is a better question: If they found a porcupine to have sex with in Florida? Why did they go all the way to LA to get the pricks taken outta their pricks?

    How do you explain all the squirming on the plane? I mean that had to have been more than a LITTLE uncomfortable.....

    How does one explain that to a Doctor with a straight face?