Tuesday, August 21, 2012

If I Were A Conspiracy Theorist...

On Tuesday, Paul Ryan was campaigning in Pittsburgh. While there, he committed a grievous act that only goes to show that he is a traitor to Wisconsin (emphasis mine):
Ryan swung a Terrible Towel as he entered the stage and sported it in his back pocket for the remainder of his speech. He spoke on economic growth, creating jobs, the principles of a good leader and “the American Dream.”
And if you needed further proof, maybe you'll believe your own eyes:

Now I could just leave it at simply pointing out how Ryan is a traitor to the Packer Nation, but as with Scott Walker, there is more. There is always more.

If I were a conspiracy theorist, I would point out that the quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers is Ben Roethlisberger.

And if I were a conspiracy theorist, I would point out that Roethlisberger went to school at Miami University in Ohio, as did Paul Ryan.

Then, if I were a conspiracy theorist, I'd point out that Roethlisberger has been accused of raping women on at least three occasions.

If I were a conspiracy theorist, I would point out that Ryan is also very close friends with Representative Todd Akins, who made that repulsive and vile comment trying to say that there was legitimate and illegitimate rape.

Indeed, as a conspiracy theorist, I would then point out to the disbelievers that Ryan and Akins had in fact co-wrote a bill designed to redefine rape and personhood.

Of course, if I were a conspiracy theorist, I would then sum up an article by calling Ryan and anti-Wisconsin, anti-woman, misogynistic bastard worried only about money and power than actually doing the proper thing.

But I'm not a conspiracy theorist, so I won't do any of that.


  1. I wonder what he'll do in Cleveland and Baltimore? Simply like all extreme right wing terrorists, he'll expect them to forget about it.

  2. Never made the Big Ben connection, and I'm not going to think that the Miami connections are why Ryan is OK with redefining rape, but the waving of the Terrible Towel is sickening. Then again, Paul Ryan's a Wisconsinite in name only, and has never had a real job in this state since he was in HS.

    Can someone check and see if Purty Mouth Pau-LIE made one of those bets with a Penn Congress member before Super Bowl XLV.

  3. I just chalk it up to Ryan continuing the behaviors that earned him the Biggest Brown-Noser award in high school.