Friday, August 3, 2012

Fitzwalkerstanese 101

In Fitzwalkerstan, even though the language sounds like English, it really is a foreign language.

For example, creating jobs really means losing more jobs than are created.

Another good example is "without raising taxes" means raising taxes on the poorest of the poor, raising fees on everyone and causing the local governments and school boards to raise their taxes through the roof to cover the state's short shrifts.

And who could forget the classics of "I am not a target of the John Doe investigation and "We are cooperating with the investigation" means I have hired three high priced attorneys to fight the corruption charges coming my way?"

As I'm sure the gentle reader has picked up on by now, in Fitzwalkerstan, almost everything is said opposite of its true meaning.

But just to keep people on their toes, sometimes things mean exactly what they say to a literal point.

An example of this is in Washington County where the term "fire water" doesn't mean a racially charged term for alcohol. Thanks to a pipeline break* spilling more than 50,000 gallons of gasoline and poisoning at least 17 wells, fire water means just that:

On the bright side, at least these people are being treated better than Joel Kleefisch's constituents who had another kind of poisoning in their wells. Then again, the people near the gas spill is in the heart of Walker territory. He can't afford to kill off the hub of his supporters. Not yet anyway.

*I wonder if this will at least give us a momentary reprieve from the Republicans incessant carping about the Keystone XL pipeline.


  1. Paul Ryan is married to the daughter of rich Oklahoma energy lawyer Dan Little, who has lots of land deals working in Oklahoma. These properties lease out rights used by the energy giants to frack out natural gas. Ryan himself is part-shareholder in Little's land properties.
    Your video shows what happens to water when unsafe methods like fracking are used to extract energy from the land. ALEC works for the expansion of fracking all over.
    As Ryan's position in budgeting has risen, he has increased his shareholdings of Little's land ops. Ryan's lated budget doles out billions in tax breaks to operations like Little's, and Ryan and Little increase their profits, pocketing the money in the process.

  2. Fracking unsafe? No, it's quite safe when done properly. Companies who violate regulations are punished and victims made whole. But that's not really my point.

    I'll give you a choice. Coal? Or natural gas? One kills tens of thousands of people every year. Natural gas kills almost nobody. My vote's for natural gas.

    I would love to see the day when we don't have to mine or drill for our energy. That day may not happen in my lifetime. I'll take the next best thing.

    1. You forgot to mention: "This word from our sponsors - Frackers of America."

  3. Anon 9:47:
    That's precisely why Barack Obama is the best choice in 2012. He's all for putting money in renewable energy that we can generate at home.
    So, based on your last comment, you will be voting for the renewable energy guy?

  4. 9:47, do you have a link to anyone who is not paid by frackers, who says it's even remotely safe?

    "Conserve," is the root of "conservative." The future appears to be in locally produced hydrogen. Endbridge, is already injecting it into their natural gas pipelines:

    “....We live in a world where energy has traditionally been separated into different industries – we use gasoline for transport, natural gas for fuel and electricity for power. Hydrogen has the potential to be used for all these applications and so brings a new economic flexibility,” says Wilson. “Of all the energy storage solutions available, hydrogen is the only one that will be able to cope with demand. ....”

    1. 9:47, one of the hopes is that folks can produce hydrogen that's pure enough, in their own homes, or at least smaller structures.

      That, along with smart grids, allows us to "decentralize" power generation. That's the path to energy independence, which is a cornerstone of national security.

      "The Hydrogen House Weathers the Storm"

  5. Nothing gives the republicans reprieve from attacking the atmosphere....